Thoughts

I have been ruminating a lot. Probably I just feel a whole lot emotional this period and thoughts have just crept up.

I’ve been thinking on going on an Instagram fast and get the need “to check on what others are doing” out of my system. I’m only human and comparing what others have against my life isn’t doing me all that good. I know that my life isn’t all that bad and I feel blessed in many ways.. so this is a change that I am taking to count my blessings.

When does the line get crossed?

Came across this article on Channel News Asia on ‘sharenting’ and while what was shared is not rocket science, what was listed struck to me for more than half the time, I’m guilty of whipping up the phone to document that milestone or to capture that moment as a memory.

Embarrassing and risky: When parents share too much of their children online Read more at https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/cnainsider/embarrassing-risky-parents-share-much-children-online-sharenting-11596622

We are in an era where access to information (thanks to technology) is so easy. So much so, we sometimes go overboard with the information and take for granted the privacy of ourselves and our loved ones. The information that we are giving people access to by revealing parts of ourselves online is something that I am also guilty of. Through blogging, I found a space and outlet to share more about the things that I love and enjoy doing. However, that space can also be opened to scrutiny and judgement from people who don’t really know me. There’s always that risk.

Penning my thoughts on this and hope that I will always try to remain conscious of not to cross the line with sharing of too much information.

 

Decluttering

Last December, the home improvement/ reality show that was the talk of the town on Netflix was ‘Tidying up with Marie Kondo’.  I caught an episode of it while checking out what’s new on Netflix and was intrigued with the whole concept of decluttering.

Inspired on what it could possibly do to my lifestyle of impulse buying and my love for shopping, I decided to do a ‘Marie Kondo’ on my wardrobe. After 7 years of living in our home, there is so much stuff that I have accumulated and not worn/ used. The wardrobe is bursting at the seams even though I always complain I have nothing to wear. While I do give stuff out or sell some of them away, I know that I have yet to realise my potential of getting rid of things that I don’t use.

It was a daunting task but I was determined to reduce the amount of clutter I had especially in the cupboards – behind those closed doors. While I didn’t have the courage of taking all my clothes and piling it on our bed. I think that may result in greater decluttering after getting a shock of how much I actually have. I did set out small goals by clearing one wardrobe at a time. That to me felt a little more manageable. P.S: It also acheived the same effect seeing how much clothes I have lying on the floor. Had a headache thereafter wondering how am I going to get pass this all?!

Dividing my clothes into a stash to either be donated or given to friends. Friends of my stash were pretty pleased with what was given to them and for me, I’m just glad that the clothes were either re-homed or put to a good use. I also felt extremely guilty for spending so much on stuff that I think I will use but never got round to using. It sent shockwaves on how impulsive I really got on spending and to really think about whether I truly needed the item before just buying it. I also made a conscious effort to wear the things in my current wardrobe at least 3-4 times a month now instead of taking out the item and then putting it back again thinking “I’ll save it for later!” I realised later never quite came and said item was left in my wardrobe for years. Multiple said items by 10 to 20 pieces.

After I cleared out and downsized my clothes wardrobe, I decided to move on to my wardrobe which houses my prized possessions – bags! I had to be brutal and asked myself if the bag really sparked joy. After I identified which bag sparked joy and which bag didn’t, I decided to sell them at some unbelievable price or gift them away. It was hard… hard because I had to let a luxury item go at a price that was a fraction of the orginal price that I paid for. When I shared this news with a friend, she thought I was going bonkers. It is, to be honest, but I figured if I wasn’t actively carrying the bag in the last 3-5 years, what are the odds of me carrying the bag again in the near future? Probably and possibly nil. So with that mindset, I again brutally cleared a good 20-30% of my bag stash in exchange for good old hard cash.

Goodbye my pretty unicorn Chanel bag! I really did love you!

As a result of my brutal destashing and selling off a prized unicorn bag that was pretty sought-after, I manage to squirrel just about enough for the above two bags in PINK! Super pleased and hey, I needed a small reward too right? 🙂

Social Media

For the longest time, the Man has been asking me to catch Black Mirror on Netflix especially the episode called Nose Dive. He said that it would be relevant to me in today’s day and age. Perhaps, he thought I was headed to becoming a serious social media addict given that I was quite consumed/ obsessed with social media platforms like Instagram for a period of time. Wondering why my picture didn’t achieve the desired number of likes and scratching my head to generate content that would acheive the most number of likes.

Looking back, it’s actually kind of scary to think how these would affect me. Thankfully not for long as I begin to take stock of what really mattered. The real relationships/ friendships versus the reel and the online ones. It was nice meeting people online, chatting with them on similar topics and don’t get me wrong, I’ve actually made some really nice friends online. Some stayed, some didn’t because life caught up and it does take work to maintain relationships/ friendships. I don’t feel bitter that those didn’t work out. We had our time and I’m thankful that our paths crossed.

Social media… it’s a double-edged sword. If you put too much of yourself out there, while some may be supportive there’s always another group of people who can’t wait to rip you apart. People think they know you because you have chosen to give them access into your life be it through writing or pictures. And while I take everything with somewhat a pinch of salt and would like to think the best of everyone, sadly,  not everyone thinks that way. So sometimes walls are built for privacy and protection of those who that remain close and dear to me.

I’ve been blogging for a decade.. 10 years.. that’s long. I’ve experienced my fair share of likes and ‘haters’ out there and for a while, it did weigh me down. Have I considered removing all content from my blog? Not at this point in time, this online journal still serve many fond memories of different stages of my life. One that I would like to possibly share with the little one when she’s older. Those that I’m not comfortable sharing publicly, I decided to privatise those posts instead because writing is still an outlet for me.

So who reads blog these days when one gets instant gratification from checking Instagram feeds instead? I don’t know. But I’ll just do what makes me happy and blogging does help me…

 

These days…

These days, I haven’t been at my best. I feel rage, I feel sadness, I feel a sense of loss and some days, hopelessness. I feel a whole range of emotions ranging from anger to then just pure tiredness.

I hope this is just a phase… a black hole that I have just stumbled upon and then I WILL myself to pick up, stand up, dust off the dirt and then move on. This is how I’ve dealt with setbacks and this is how I will continue to deal with it.  I know I can, I know I will be able to get through this. Just like I have done so before…..

A new tag – PTWM

1.11.2017

I left behind a job that I have been familiar with doing for the past 9 years and decided to do something else within the team.  Was it an easy decision to make? There are obviously push and pull factors but I’m really thankful that it all worked out with the company. I now get to go on this flexi working arrangement working only 3 days in a week and taking the other 2 days to spend time with the Bub and myself. Of course there are sacrifices I have to make such as a salary cut and perhaps not even being to advance further in my career. But at the end of the day when I look back, what do I want to remember from this all?

I came across a quote:

Your greatest contribution to the universe may not be something you do, but someone you raise

How very true! I’m not going to pull the Bub out of school for I think being in school offers her a structure and being able to learn at play. But I think having the extra days off allows me to pick her up slightly earlier and just do the little things with her. I’m really looking forward to ice-cream trips, supermarket runs or even picking the Dad up from work. Of course, the reason why I decided to switch to a part-time working arrangement is because the Man is travelling rather extensively these days so my time away from work will allow me to take on chauffeuring duties for her enrichment classes during the week.

Watch this space, I am also hoping that I will get back into the groove of writing more. So hopefully these additional days off work will allow me to do so. In the meantime, my room is in this huge mess so first order of the day is to pack up all the stuff and arrange them neatly before my OCD monster of a husband screams at me!

To new beginnings

Interesting quote that I came across that day:

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And maybe that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances make us do so.

I could relate and God will make everything good in his own time. With a leap of faith, I am really glad I made the decision to do something else. Sure, there are some sacrifices that I will have to make as a result but it will allow me to have more time to spend with the Bub and that’s what really matters.