I’ve been told by friends or people close to me that I think too much. I do not deny this as I do tend to overthink about things/ problems/ people and even scenarios. The last 2 – 3 years with the pandemic, it has also caused me to withdraw into a little hole. It was overwhelmed greatly not just living with the pandemic but dealing with relationships that come along with it, navigating them and threading on sometimes thin ice how people feel about me.
The first year of the pandemic, alcohol was featured mostly in our daily lives as we wondered how best to survive. In the second year of the pandemic, I sought to healthier measures to dealing with my life. I first turned to exercise as a form of filling my time after dropping the kid in school. Then as I started to enjoy the workout, I tried out other forms of workout to challenge myself further. While I didn’t lose a lot of weight, I felt that the endorphins released during the workout made me happy. It also challenged me to remain discipline and also stick to a regime where I chose to shut down at about 10pm to head to bed. The workouts also made me tired physically and I felt that I didn’t have bandwidth to think about other things.
I’m generally quite a sentimental person valuing friendships and relationships. But people move on, people can change, perhaps I have changed as well – my values are different and my priorities have changed. I realised that social media is not a pleasant environment for me as it made me compare about the lifestyle I have vs others. I realised this is not a healthy habit that I want to continue to hold so I am now mindfully doing what I can to cut back on the use of social media and the mindless scrolling of envying what others have vs what I don’t have.
It is still a long road for me and I feel I now have social anxiety but I hope as time goes pass, I am able to conquer my challenges and feel better about myself as a person.
Baby steps.. one day at a time…