Being a Mom or a parent is not easy and you don’t become a great one just by reading all the parenting books or following all the rules. You simply learn along the way because each child is different and despite all the good parenting advice that friends and loved ones dish out, you go with your gut feel and really your heart with a good balance of ‘common sense’ along with it.
Of course, Moms don’t get it easy. We are emotional, sentimental and a huge puddle of mush when it comes to parenting children. Present company included. I often second-guess whether what I am doing is right or is there something else I could have done better. The emotional guilt sometimes get the better of me and at times I wonder if I’m cut out to be a Mom.
But no one is born to be a Mom, you just become one along the way and perhaps the validation that I must be doing something right is that love and affection that Bubba shows me every single day. So with some courage, I’ve decided to list down some of the things that I as a Mom don’t want to hear about parenting because to be honest, my child, my rules, my way.
You mean your child is still sleeping with you? It’s not healthy, she should get her own room.
Well, yes, before the Bub came along, the Man and I had been adamant about kicking her out of her room and her never sleeping on our bed. But that changed. In fact, we kinda like how close she is to us and how she needs me to hug her tight and hold her hand before she drifts off to sleep. Her childhood is going to be so precious and fly by in the wink of the eye, so we intend to treasure the moment till the day she’s ready to walk out of our bedroom herself.
You mean you let your child use the iPhone and watch YouTube at mealtimes
I used to be one of those ‘nazi’ parents that would say ‘No ipads at mealtimes!‘ when I saw what other parents did. I admit I was judgey until I became a parent and had to eat all the words that came right out of my mouth. So yeah, the iPhone/ iPad comes out as a last resort. One would think it would be easy to get a toddler to sit on her high chair. Well, no way Jose. In fact, that’s the hardest! The Bub is all fidgety and if she can lasts about 30 minutes through a meal, I would say hooray! So when we are out dining and if she gets all whiney and restless after the countless walks that she has tortured her father to bring her to see the fishes, technology does come to the rescue for us worn out parents to enjoy the rest of the meal that’s hopefully still hot.
Why are you feeding your child potato chips, french fries, chocolate otherwise known as junk food?
Everything in moderation I guess. Sooner or later your child would be exposed to all these foods. So instead of letting Bubba go all berserk over a bar of chocolate, I might as well let her try it if she wants it. I’ve noticed that when I do so and once she’s tasted it, she doesn’t really ask me for seconds if she decides she doesn’t like it in the first place.
Why are you not stopping your child from screaming?
Ah, terrible twos. We’ve just started and it ain’t a pretty sight. On days where the Bub choose to be really independent, she insists on doing everything her ‘self‘ and it really drives me up the wall. Removing her shoes may seem like a simple task but for the Bub, it usually involves a fair amount of using her tiny strength to remove her shoes. And when I intervene and do it for her, she gets ‘upset’ with me and ends up crying. I suffer the brunt of other parents stares on why am I not getting my child to be quiet. But how do I fault her for her little ambition of wanting to do things herself and beaming with pride when she has done it. So yes, sometimes I just feign ignorance that that said screaming toddler belongs to me.
So let’s be a little kinder to other moms out there. There are always two sides of the coin and to each situation. It’s okay to agree to disagree but let’s leave it as that and not mom-shame fellow moms further. As Moms, we all are just doing the best we can to get by and raise our child. 🙂