The parent trap

Signs of terrible twos are slowly manifesting itself and it’s amazing how the little minds of toddlers work. You think you can outsmart them but they know how to tie you round their tiny little finger.

And obviously parenting styles are very different. Some days its hard not to lose my temper at the little one. And on the other hand of the spectrum, the other parent seem to appear like the bad cop. It’s difficult and I guess the only way to get round all these unsettling and nary feelings is to have honest and open conversations about it (well, even if you don’t like it).

Case in point, the other day while we were driving home from school, Bubba was just throwing a little tantrum in her car-seat demanding for us to play the songs that she wants. The Man wanting to be nice and give in to her, started to search for the song on his phone and played it for her. All this while, the little one was just kicking her feet and shouting the different songs she wants to hear as we are dee-jays in the car. I stopped him and told him not to give in to her. Plus he was driving and had to concentrate. He was not pleased. His face turned 50 shades of black almost immediately. I tried to rationalise with him why I did what I did.

  1. It’s dangerous and I could have helped him search for all the songs that the little one demanded from her seat. But I know that won’t satisfy her. Worse, the Man will just be more upset when she demands for more songs.
  2. It sets the precedence. Once she knows she can get her way with this, she will demand her way the next time round. Would you then call her manipulative?

I know he wasn’t pleased there and then. With the screaming one behind, I did my best to distract her using my high-pitched voice and asking her to look at the different things outside the window. It worked for a bit and she went back to screaming. Having been on many car-rides with her where I’m behind the wheel and witness her mini-meltdowns, this was how I deal with her. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I try to be consistent with the approach.

tpjoanne_209So yeah, it’s not been easy when views are differing and it’s easy to just lose your temper at your other half. But if you are honest about your feelings and share why you did what you did, perhaps you see a different view.

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