I subscribe to various groups on Facebook and this post ‘Being a mom has made me a bad friend over at Life with the Hamptons‘ was one that I could totally relate to when I was scrolling down the feed. If you are a parent, you probably can relate to a thing or two.
Before Bubba came along and when I was surrounded with friends who had kids, I would gripe when they didn’t make time to meet up with me. I tried to be understanding and accommodated to their schedules but I was like ‘How can a baby turn your life upside down?‘.
And then I became a Mom.. I went from one side of the fence to the other side. And boy, I became one of those friends I told myself I should never be. I wish I could be a better friend, heck, I wish I have more time to do all the things I want to do and be that better friend. But that doesn’t work in real life.
So, like the Paige – to my non-parent or even to my parent-friends, this shouldn’t be an excuse but I’m listing down a few reasons why I’m a bad friend:
Sometimes I wonder how some women have it all – career and kids. I thought it’s possible. Perhaps it is but some things gotta give. I work a good 8-9 hours a day. When I leave work, that’s when the second shift begins. It’s a rush back to pick Bubba up, feed her her dinner, the Man usually gives Bubba her evening shower while I shower. Then, I try to implement a night regime – reading Bubba a book, nursing her and then try to put her to sleep. Remember, her nick is Baby No Sleep. So by the time she finally drifts off to bed, I’m dead-tired myself. I check work emails just to make sure that nothing urgent needs my attention. I then do a little surfing if I’m up for it. Or else, I’m just flat out. Sleep- deprived mostly because Bubba still isn’t sleeping through the night. Yes, my friends, this happens everyday. I do wish I have more time to spend more time with Bubba, the Man and to have some time for myself.
So forgive me, if I’m not good company when we head out. My mind sometimes drift off cos I worry a lot about other stuff. I wish I could have the nice, long dinners with wine in tow. But these occasions are rare. Having said that, I will still try.
Sometimes I don’t want to talk about anything
This is actually quite true. I hardly have much time on my own these days. Whatever free time I have, I usually find myself running errands or getting some part of myself fixed (ie: hair). I don’t even have time to do yoga, get a facial done or even my fave beauty activity of manicure and pedicure. The only luxury the Man kind of forces me to have is our weekly massage to soothe those neckaches and backaches from caring for Bubba.
So if I do get some time on my own, I really just want to spend it on my own for that little bit before mayhem starts.
Someone once told me, I probably won’t get back my life until Bubba is 3. Maybe the person is right. I know in any relationship and even friendship, it takes two hands to clap. So please forgive me a little for now for I wish I can be a better friend but most days, it’s been quite a struggle getting through it all.