This year marks our 6 years of marriage. Whoa.. where did all that time go? Did we plan how our lives will turn out? Well, I thought by now we would have added an additional headcount or maybe two plus a whole lot of chaos into our lives. The chaos bit? Perhaps. The additional headcount? I wonder if our four-legged fur-kid counts.
Along the way, especially of late, we get asked or rather told to go and have a kid before it’s too late. Yes, I know that my biological clock is ticking. It waits for no one. After being told off by my gynae that I ain’t no spring chicken, I actually am afraid to go visit him. I know he will chide me but I guess he only wishes me the best.
This year, many friends have added an extra head-count into their brood. While I’m happy for them, visiting them at the hospital and playing with their newborn, it suddenly dawned upon me: ‘Am I even ready to embrace motherhood? ‘. Frankly, I have to say no. Doesn’t exactly help when I see screaming toddlers tormenting their parents/ grand-parents and people around them when we are out. In such situations, the Man and I will often throw each other a look of unison, secretly thanking our lucky stars that when we are home, it’s going to be peace and quiet.
But there are also times when we hang out with friends and their absolutely angelic kids (like baby G), we go back feeling all warm and fuzzy, ready to take on the challenge if our kid turns out just as awesome as our friends’ child. But life, it can be quite a b*tch at times, so you don’t always get what you wish for. Now, that’s the part that worries me the most!
The joys of parenting is something we haven’t quite grasped yet. If you are going to tell us that having a child outweighs the joys of having a fur-kid. Then don’t because the Man will probably sit you down and have a lengthy discussion as to why he thinks dogs are better than kids. I’ll stay out of this debate – thank.you.very.much.
Are we ready to take that leap of faith and embrace parenthood? I dunno. It’s not as if we say yes today, we’re going to get pregnant tomorrow. Remember? Not a spring chicken anymore? Plus 4 years back, I had an op where my gynae had to clean up the plumbing for my internal system. So it’s a tad bit more difficult for us to get pregnant. Having said that, it’s not impossible for us to get pregnant, it just may take a little longer (and perhaps depending on the options, cost us more).
So maybe baby? Let’s see… for now, we’re toying with the idea of possibly adopting another fur-kid to our brood. That’s sure sounds far more exciting if you ask us. 
I was like you, intending to add a furkid to our brood when R came along. Totally unplanned, we felt betrayed and afraid. But since she’s found her way to us, we can only embrace parenthood as well as we can. Enjoy the time as it is, kid or sans kid – I’m sure you will be happy no matter what! My best wishes to you and your man on your family planning, fur-kid or human-kid!
Thanks Yuling! We are planning to enjoy the time as much as we can. Child or fur-kid, we think it’s a gift!
Don’t let anyone pressure you into having children. It’s YOUR lives, not anyone else’s so ain’t nobody got the right to tell you two to do so. Having children is a huge HUGE commitment and a lifetime responsibility, so take your time deciding. The key is to follow your heart. Just my 2 cents worth!
Thanks thehungrybunny. Yup, the pressure is definitely on but we try to just ‘block’ out the thoughts for now. We are honestly just happy where we’re at now. Who knows what’s going to happen next time.. So let’s see..
Seems like an irony for me to comment at this point but I totally hear you! We agree with your husb that a furkid is as good as a baby!! And I really don’t think anyone (well meaning doctors included) should be influencing such an epic decision in life!
My gyno told me 5 years ago my ovaries were getting dusty! Lordy lord!!!
Aww thanks Zhing.. really, your gyno said that 5 yrs ago?!? Babe, you look very young for your gyno to be telling you this!
But jokes aside, thanks for hearing me out.. our fur-kids will always remain as no 1 right? Hehe
YES definitely!!!
For me, the hubby & I have been married 11 years, still no baby. Luckily for me we don’t get nag by our families, just friends! I have 5 furkids (2 dogs & 3 cats) and between moving so much as an expat family, having no kids was a blessing. Everyone is right. It is your choice, don’t let anyone else tell you what you should do. Life can be just as fulfilling without human kids. And shhhh….i definitely think furkids are better :p
Thanks Fiona for dropping by and hi-five for thinking fur-kids are better.
Gimme fur-kids any day! I am always telling my sis that i wld dog-sit her border collie anytime and to keep her baby away from me.. There’s just something abt a screaming and inconsolable kid that pushes me off the cliff. So… Fur-kids for me! Whatever u decide, just be happy
Yeah, I get real freaked out when I see a screaming kid. Whatever maternal instinct I have will just freeze for that mo. So yes, more fur-kids for us now. But we’ll see..
God will bless you both surely, in His time and when He does, you both will be ready.
Yup, you’re right.. either universe, there’s pros and cons so we’ll embrace whatever God has planned for us.
Thank you so much for this very brave honest post
I can relate so much.
Yeah I think society skews us one way and I sometimes wonder if it’s more pressure from society about what is expected than really what we want. Unfair intrusive pressure though is so rude huh?
Or sometimes the pressure comes from me. My biological urges like for me I have strong maternal urges at times, especially when I carry sweet smelling babies. Oh that baby scent.
But yeah, when I see the stress parents go through I realize it’s very expensive to raise a kid and hard work till they are 18…actually way beyond in Singapore with the way inflation is going. I don’t think most of my relatives ever got a break…it seemlessly continues once the grandkids come.
You’re both such happy people I’m sure you’ll be happy no matter what your decide. The life with your fur kid and the life of a traveling couple is pretty sweet too
Yup, life with the fur-kid has been pretty fulfilling. He brings us immense joy each day and some frustration along the way as well. But he gives us unconditional love.
You’re right about societal pressures. Sometimes I can’t help but fall into the pressures. But what’s wrong with not going with the norm, why should we be singled out for taking the road less traveled? This is something that I’m still trying to grapple with and would greatly appreciate if people just give us the space.
And I have to agree how stressful it is to be parents these days.